How To Get Your Priorities in Order and Pursue Your Passions

God, Family, Career.  If you focus on priorities in this order, you will live a life of purpose and balance?

Nope. Not even close.  It’s not a matter of do this first or second or even allocating a certain amount of time to each thing.  It’s about trial and error and keeping priorities in perspective.  I am going to go ahead and let you off the hook, no one gets it right all the time.  Take a deep breath, you don’t suck. But you can get your priorities in order AND pursue your passions.

The Struggle of Balancing Priorities

I am a goal oriented person and am very competitive.  I like to do things well and the right way.  I don’t like breaking rules, BUT I have been known to challenge a few 🙂 In various settings I have been taught that our priorities in life should be God First, Family Second, and Career third.  I have struggled with that for SOOOOO long.  If this is the way things were supposed to be, then I needed to figure out how to do it. I spent 32-40 hours a week working and another 10 hours commuting, had a family to take care of, and a side hustle.  I held various ‘jobs’ in my church but how could I spend more time serving God than working??  And in terms of family – HA!  They were at least third or fourth in line for my time for sure!

It is very stressful trying to figure out how to get it all right.  How do I get priorities in order and still pursue the passions my heart? What is the right balance of time and energy?  Would a family game night make me feel less guilty?  Would making more money give us more options and time and therefore feel less guilty? Is it Ok for my kid to spend more time at daycare than with me?  I continually question my intents and decisions.

I want to make sure I am spending quality time with my family but I don’t always take advantage of opportunities to do that because I am preoccupied or just too tired.

One day, I turned to the bible.  Which is something I should have done much sooner.  It would have saved me a lot of grief.  I am no biblical scholar but below are references I found about God, Family, Career and the verses that lead me to being a more content mama and wife.

God, the First Priority

So….the bible DOES say that God should be first in your life.  But that doesn’t mean we ‘schedule’ more time at church or in quiet time than we do in other things.  That’s where I kept getting it wrong.  God does want our time but he wants our heart and a relationship with us more. He wants us to glorify him in all our days and in all our ways.  Seeking him first means that we grow in a relationship with him and seek his leading in our decisions in all areas of life and are in continual fellowship with Him. (See Matthew 6:33 and Matthew 22:37)

For me, putting God first in my day means things like praying about business decisions, praying with a friend, supporting my husband, and praying for wisdom in raising my little boy.  I have come to realize, I put God first by recognizing that He is always with me and by looking for ways to be a reflection of him throughout my day.

Importance of the Priority of Family

The bible says you are required to take care of/provide for your family.  I went through a season of life where I was helping to take care of family outside of our house.  Some guilt was felt about being away from my immediate family but we all knew taking care of family was important, so we made it work.  I made sure the family in my home was taken care of. You know, the essentials – food, clothes, shelter. And, I cared for family outside of my home because they had needs I was able to meet.  I make time to work to provide for my family AND because it helps us to be a blessing to others.  (See 1 Timothy 5:8)

Showing that family is important doesn’t always just mean making time for game nights and lots of giggles.  They know they are important because you have shown providing for them is a priority.

Where Does Work Fall as a Priority?

The bible says says we need to work and THEN build our house.  So does that mean work comes first??  What I believe it means is that we have to work so we can take care of our family.  So, the REASON we work is to provide for our family and to use our talents for God. (See Proverbs 31 and Proverbs 24:27)

Let Go of the Guilt

Proverbs 31 tells a story of a woman. In this chapter, it says the woman plants a vineyard, she cooks meals, she makes clothes, she makes things and sells them.

She. Provides. For. Her. Family.

Take notice, the woman focused her mind and energy on things other than her children so that she could take care of them well.  She is revered as someone who kept her priorities in order and she was considered a blessing.  NO WHERE does it say she spent time playing with her kids (although I’m sure she did). Yet, they called her a blessing. 

Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying don’t spend time with your family.  Please, spend time with your family!  Have fun, make memories, but stop using them as an excuse for not doing other things that could add value to your life and theirs. Stop using them as an excuse to not use your talents. Stop using them as an excuse, and start using them as your reason.

Are you standing in the way of your priorities?

The bible gives clear directions about each of the areas – God, Family, Career. But, other than putting God first it doesn’t give us specifics about how to get priorities right. It doesn’t tell us to rank things in a certain order or tell us how much time to spend in each category in order to be a good Christian/Mom/Employee/Business Owner/Wife etc.

My experience is that we place the constraints on ourselves.  And honestly, we use this noble hierarchy as an excuse.  The biggest excuse I hear (and I admit, I have used it too), is I can’t pursue my passion because it will take time away from my family.  When, if we really look at how we spend our time we would find far too many other things that we shouldn’t be doing that don’t add value to our families – watching TV, scrolling social media, saying yes to things we shouldn’t, etc. 

You can make time for your family AND you can pursue your passions.  You are not going to get the balance right every time, but that’s OK – even baby steps are steps in the right direction.

How I Got My Priorities in Order

I still do it wrong, A LOT!  I let my kid play too many video games and I have good intentions for family time that I never follow through with.  I try to talk to God throughout the day and ask him for wisdom, but I forget to seek Him first too many times.  The heart is into it but the mind needs some help!  If I see someone who needs help and I have the ability, I help.  I work hard and sometimes long hours to pursue my passions and provide for my family.  But we also make time to enjoy things together.  Sometimes its just a ride in the country or a trip out town for ice cream.  I have learned we don’t have to have elaborate plans. 

We have traditions our son reminds us of often.  Sometimes they are very small things that would be insignificant to anyone else.  That gives me reassurance that he enjoys our time together and that sometimes I am getting things right.  Our little boy gets to go with us to work sometimes and he sees us work from home as well.  Through our example I hope we are teaching him how to work hard, take care of his family, follow his passions, impact others, and do it all in a manner that is pleasing to God.   (Proverbs 22:6)

So, I make time for work and I make time for family, sometimes I mix the two, and I try to praise God through all of it.  I still fail but I make changes as needed.  At the end of the day I feel most accomplished when I can say I did things that mattered – THAT’S when I feel I have honored priorities and life feels more balanced.

Closing

When I hear someone say they don’t want to sacrifice family time to pursue their passions I know where they are coming from.  I know they are either using their family as an excuse because they are scared of something, they are scared, just don’t know where to start, or they are like me and all are true.

Do you use your family being a priority as an excuse to not follow your passions? Or, do you use them for the reason you follow your passions? Do the scripture references change your perspective? How can I pray for you to stop the guilt and move forward?  

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