How to Find Your Why

Do you feel out of control? Don’t know where to start? Overwhelmed by options and things to do? Busy but not productive? It is possible to overcome these obstacles and live a life of purpose. To live your life on purpose you have to find your why.

Can you relate?

Let me tell you about about a friend. This friend is a mom, wife, and a leader in corporate America. She loves her family and has a high need for achievement and excels at most anything she tries to do. But, she has a secret. She’s miserable. From the outside looking in she is accomplished and happy. But, she feels lost and burned out. She is always busy, but never feels like she gets anything worthwhile done, and is chasing the wrong things for the wrong reasons. Want to know why? She is chasing what she thinks she should instead of what aligns with what is really important to her. I can relate intimately with her, because she is me. I found myself lost in a rat race of things to do and none of them really getting me anywhere nor making me happy.

Intrinsic vs Controlled Motivation

Intrinsic motivation is when your actions reflect what is inherently important to you. This is what I call your WHY. However, controlled motivation is when your actions have external influences. It can also be when you act based on what you think you SHOULD do. Sometimes what you should do aligns with what is important to you but, often it doesn’t. As women, we often get caught up in taking care of others’ needs and making them happy. It’s easy to loose sight of what makes US happy.

For many years I worked very hard and was very good at what I did. But I was a people pleaser and operated out of what I thought others wanted from me. Often these people where not even my family! I found myself exhausted at the end of each day with nothing left for my family because, while I was good at what I was doing, it didn’t align with what was important to me. I was aimlessly chasing money and accomplishment rather than aligning with my WHY and letting that be the source of money and accomplishment. That slight shift made a huge difference.

How to find your WHY…

Finding your WHY can take some time and your journey may end up a little different from mine. But, these were things that helped me:

1. Prayer, and lots of it. It is really important to me to make sure what I am doing is pleasing to God. I prayed a lot asking God to show me where I was focused on worldly things instead of the purpose I was designed for.
2. I made a truthful list of the things important to me, and not just what I thought SHOULD be important.
3. I took a spiritual gifts assessment. I found a pretty extensive free tool online. It confirmed that my top 2 gifts are the gifts of administration and teaching. Spiritual gifts are themselves inherent and contribute greatly to your WHY and a feeling of fulfillment.

What is it Like to Find Your Why?

Equipped with what you are good at and what is important, it will drive everything else. Goal setting become fun and exciting. Operating from your Why, you are more likely to stick to goals, you will find more success. You can prioritize time better to make sure you are spending time on the things that matter. You will get better at eliminating ‘waste’ in your day because you will more easily recognize the things that are not aligning with your WHY. It will also help you gauge what you should be saying yes or no to.

Your why is the foundation of where everything else that makes you successful starts. When you find your why, your goals, actions and achievements all line up. When your life reflects your why that is where true peace, fulfillment, and balance can be found.

I’ve made many changes in how I approach my day. From changing careers to leaving behind toxic relationships. I’ve worked to align what I do with biblical principles, my WHY, and my strengths. This has given me the confidence to start this online business. Part of my WHY is to encourage and help other Christian women achieve success and fulfillment.

Please drop a comment if this has helped you and how I can encourage you or pray for you. Or let me know if I can help you find your why!

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Blessings to you! <3